Lactose Intolerance Warriors Gifts

'It's the Night Before Christmas, and I drank lots of eggnog, and all through the house I've been puking.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

The Nihilist Deli.

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

Clown with balloons to diabetic: 'Hey, could you take your shot over there?'

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Frank and Ernest's tips for travelers. When traveling makes you congested ... call rheum service. Sniff.

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

"It's gluten/carb/fat/preservative/sugar-free. Enjoy your Celery Supreme."

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

The Last Thanksgiving

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

Zombie diabetes sites: When those dead spots on our body consume insulin like the ravenous undead.

"Now Harold, you know those always give you heartburn."

New Milks

Lactose Intolerant Goldilocks

"I told you dairy was bad for your diet!"

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

'I always thought I was lactose intolerant.'

'The poor guy's allergic to sand.'

'Soy milk, soy burgers...who ever thought we could be replaced by a bean.'

'Help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'You are severely allergic to monosodium glutamate.'