Lab Opening Gifts

'Please, no work boots or dirty genes.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

"Eureka! Details to follow."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'ADN'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Here comes the super-visor."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

"I feel so seen right now."

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'