Lab Work Gifts

'We close at six.'

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

'No, I said my name is Dr Gofman. G as in glucose...'

Microscope slide

Science Friction.

'It's just the microscope dream again...go back to sleep.'

Scientific Research Centre Practical Jokes

'It's all right.. he's a trustee.'

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

'Don't forget - keep the potassium chloride in a separate container.'

A man trips over the safety manual.

"The hardest part was teaching him to use the hedge trimmers."

Lab tech tosses hypodermic needles at dartboard.

'Psst, want to buy a map?'

Progress: The amount of effort expended multiplied by the square of the ratio of scientists to managers: P=E X (S/M)2.

'Shucks! I filled the bleeding vial more than two-thirds full!...'

"I suspect there's been a breakthrough."

'Surprisingly enough, this is in the range of acceptable risk.'

"The control group has taken control."

'You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'We realized he's a lot more valuable to us this way.'

'It keeps me sane!'

"Where'd he get the little chain saw?"

"Can't find your office, doc?"

"Extracting proteins from ancient bones is a complex business. . ."

"His is a thought experiment."

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

'I do wish these people wouldn't bring their bloody kids into the lab to show them where they work.'

If we reproduce fast enough, we'll outnumber everybody and take over the petri dish! Divide and conquer, eh?