Laboratories Gifts

Lab Sponsorship.

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

'That's our safety director. He takes safety very seriously.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Graduated Cylinders...

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'Just relax, Greg, and get in touch with your inner chromatographer.'

'I didn't exactly write the article, but...well, I didn't exactly do the research either.'

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

"No, those aren't my diplomas. They're my regulations."

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

"Formula for the new product?" "No, that's our grant going down the drain!"

When Chelation Therapy goes wrong.

"I feel so seen right now."

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"I hate the team approach."

'What are YOU looking at?'

'Congratulations! You've created an artificial wife!'

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

'They want to close our lab. What's that all about?'

Burp!

'Perhaps the reason test drug CYM1570268 kills mice, but not people is because mice are different from people.' 'And he'll probably win a Nobel Prize for that theory.'

'Take this slide and S-T-E-R-I-L-I-Z-E it.'

Product testing laboratory worker breaks.

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

Later, other physicists would claim that they had warned their colleagues about the obvious dangers of attempting to isolate crime waves.

'Believe me, a pet doesn't do a day's work in his life.'

"I've discovered the gene that makes you such an idiot."

"We've made a spectacular breakthrough. . . I think."

"What'll it be - a hypothetical mouse in a theoretical maze, a suppositional guinea pit testing a hypothetical drug, or a theoretical rhesus monkey with a suppositional disease?"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"What time is it?"

False Positive Diploma