Lab Legend Gifts

'It's like the old days in the lab, Charlie. You learn the maze, you get the food pellet, you go home. What else can I say?'

Scientist looking down a microscope is being looked down a microscope by god.

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

'He loves that Lego set we bought for his birthday.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"I feel so seen right now."

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

'I didn't exactly write the article, but...well, I didn't exactly do the research either.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'

'Do I have a story to tell about Novox Genlab!'

Scientist with test tube.

'More or less?'

"We're isolating the obesity gene, but only to make fun of it."