Lab Jokers Gifts

The G-nome Project (Mapping the genome).

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Happy Bifurcation Day,

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

"So how long have you been working the business?"

Frankenfish

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

"You're on mute."

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

DNA Xmas.

'I preferred my old title of Executive Vice-President.'

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'