Kung Fu Teacher Gifts

Mr Lee's one man army style kung-fu school - "Mr Lee can't make it tonight, Apparently he's been mugged"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Overjumpers

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Hi-yah!"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Old Karate Master

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"The guy's a natural!"

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

"Remedial Karate"

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

"Can you spare a few bricks ... I'm learning Karate."

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

The Ideal Teacher.

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

'... And as soon as I get out of here, I'm going back to that karate school to demand a full refund!'

Cat Kung Fu

Martial arts and clumsiness.

"Let's make this our last celebrity cruise."

"He's too ambitious, going for a black belt."

School of Karate

'Are you guys having a pyjama party?'

"Looks like it's getting a bit choppy out there."

"Listen to your inner voice...unless it tells you not to listen to me."