Corporate Kung Fu Master Gifts

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Overjumpers

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

"I didn't get where I am by trying to please."

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'A merger will enable us to have more people to blame.'

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'I believe the power tie has been replaced by the power pack.'

"To be a part of our team you first have to go through me. And I'm remarkable non-porous."

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

Little by little they increased their influence with the team.

"My husband's in advertising."

"Business has been steady."

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

'I want to thank you for sending me to those Excellency training classes.'

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'