Corporate Zen Master Gifts

'This is our employee burnout center. These are the ones who checked out of reality long ago.'

"This is Fred, he heads up our corporate wellness programs."

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

Happy CEO

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.