Workplace Zen Master Gifts

How To Sleep Your Way To The Top.

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

'I just booked a one way cruise for the employee's negative thoughts.'

"I'm having one of those days where you can't decide if it makes more sense to freak-out or panic."

"You know, talking louder than everyone else doesn't make you an influencer."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

Work Life Balance.

'There goes JB, still unflappable.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

"Krishnan, why is it when you enter my room there's a general absence of hope?"

'I'm trying to become enlightened, but my stomach keeps growling and interrupting me!'

'As your banker, I feel I should tell you, the more enlightened you become the more of a credit risk you become.'

WISDOM! WHILE IT LASTS!, 'Maybe the sign wasn't such a hot idea after all.'

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

"You can accomplish anything, if you don't put your mind to it."

'Inside healer'

"Don't just stand there, do nothing."

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

"This is Fred, he heads up our corporate wellness programs."

"Can't talk now - ping me, yeah?"