Outdoor Zen Master Gifts

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

Relax.