Office Zen Master Gifts

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Management and labor working in tandem.'

'Hope you had a good break...Welcome back!'

'There goes JB, still unflappable.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

Slow Adults At Work

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Monica, you're always such an island of calm in the company. How do you do it?' 'Well, the economy helps some with that.'

'I never let the stress of the job get me down.'

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

'You have to start leaving for work earlier. Even I beat you to the office this morning.'

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'