Corporate Zen Seekers Gifts

'Nothing else seems to have worked so we're going to try our luck with a holy man.'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Just go with the workflow."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a suit."

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'Tax considerations? Regulatory climate? Labor costs? - Hell, no! We're moving our headquarters cross-country because I feel like it!'

'He has the Big Cheese on his side - But the High Muckity-Mucks will be with us.'

Work Life Balance.

'Thoreau had his Walden Pond, C.J. has his water cooler.'

Nervous Buddha

"Krishnan, why is it when you enter my room there's a general absence of hope?"

'I want someone who is smart, cunning and ruthless, but also someone who is too dumb to try for my job.'

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

"Please join me now in a group meditation."

'Inside healer'

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?!

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

"Can't talk now - ping me, yeah?"

"This is Fred, he heads up our corporate wellness programs."

Madame Irma: sait tout, voit tout. Lit l'avenir dans le big data.

'Words of wisdom? OK, how about, next time take the elevator.'

'And this is Ziggy, our stress management consultant...'

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

"You know, talking louder than everyone else doesn't make you an influencer."

"I'm having one of those days where you can't decide if it makes more sense to freak-out or panic."

'I never let the stress of the job get me down.'

"He's going to make a great managing director one day."

'Cheer up! In 30 years time you could be sitting in my chair.'

'I just booked a one way cruise for the employee's negative thoughts.'