Spiritual Zen Seeker Gifts

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Felix Mendelssohn

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Unguided imagery

Astral Projection

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Needs to get a life"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"All we have left is standing room only."

Zenemies.

Tiny Visions

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!