Spirituality Seeker Gifts

"Uh, oh - I never stopped."

'Happy New Year to you!'

"Remember the good old days when an offering to the Gods was a live human beating heart."

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Dalai Lama and Shimon Peres visits Norway

'If I ever get my hands on that stupid career counselor....'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"I can't buy forgiveness? - What kind of crazy economic system Is THAT?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

"If you like what I had to say, be sure to go online and buy some of my merch."

Heaven: Terms and Conditions

Angel Feeder

Fitness Guru

Have Your Cards Read Here

The New Ager

"The white buffalo protects us from evil spirits and brings good fortune in the harvest, but it's almost impossible to keep clean."

'Oh, we like the manna okay -- it's just that we're a little tired of ethnic food.'

Personal Services: Nuns.

'The meaning of life? Well, that depends. Right now it's all about this yummy egg salad!'

Feng shui'd out on my ear...please help!

Evangelical Television

'Well, this should be a freebie.'

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

Sorry we're closed

"Hey, you're preaching to the choir."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'