Kraken Conqueror Gifts

A Chef Never Rests

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

"I've finished the press statement about the kraken."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

Mountain climber error.

Speleologist

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

Cricket.

"I'm a rock-climber - I know how challenging a craggy face can be."

"We have a problem. It's called the competition."

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

"Ahhh, there's nothing like the fifteenth cup of the day."

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... invent a popcorn machine that pops all of the kernels!?

'Wow, this is a lot better!'

King of the Mountain

Bandaged Mummy

"I should've known if we told him we were going to have him declawed he'd go out with a bang."

Matthew Webb

'We feel that being one step ahead of the competition is no longer an adequate buffer zone.'

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling

"Not now Carruthers - I'm not in the mood..."

'Thank God Out of Africa,'

'I hate it when I'm on her lap, and she has a leg cramp!'

"Run, Roslyn! Your kale is out of control!"

Many have lived through the eye, but only Marvin has survived being in the anus of the cyclone.