Kosher Aficionado Gifts

"First, do no ham."

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Oymoticons

Jewish Geometry

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"No, we can't have a lawyer look at them first!"

'No kidding? -- a black belt in humility?'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Three wise men of the east following the guiding star.

"May your year be pear-fect."

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

Safer Torah

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

'We only have a few rules around here but we really enforce them.'

'Hi. I'm Rabbi Feldman, and I'll be your mohel this evening.'

Torah-nosaurus Rex

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

"I don't care if it's his new year, that's my honey!"

Lighting Chanukah candles was a matter of seconds for Puff the Magic Dragon

"That's just sick."

'No, you don't get to pick one from each column!'

"Actually, I was first drawn to Judaism not because of the religious beliefs but the dietary restrictions!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but you needed to order the kosher meal when you were abducted."

'Whoa, what's this? I specifically requested the Kosher mean.'

Lulav and Etrog Fencing

Bubbie's parrot

Tradition!

"It's not a question of kosher. He's checking the rabbi's name to see if it's one whose politics he agrees with."

Israel Zangwill.