Koi Pond Lover Gifts

Keeping up with the jones

Deforestation.

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'Come out with your fins up!'

Fish talking about fisherman

Leak in the fish tank.

"And would you like flies with that?"

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

Loud mouth bass.

"Wow-free sky hoagies!"

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

'You catch me, you throw me back. You catch me, you throw me back. Dude, get a life!'

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

Go jump in the lake!

Shore fishing requires threading the needle.

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"Well don't snore - you'll frighten the fish!"

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"Frank, I said I'm sorry about breaking your line. But it sure was a big fish, wasn't it."

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

"Quit daydreaming and get back to work."

'You are doing it wrong.'

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

'Come on, come on! Bite! Oh, man... He's looking right at it!!'

"I don't mind you spending the weekend at the lake with the boys, but don't push your luck by bringing home fish."