Knitting Aficionado Gifts

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

'Shopping forecast'

"Were we expecting the Worsteds?"

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

Try and guess my wife's favourite hobby.

'Happy now?'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

Knowing that Roger loathed the new cat, Janelle tried to win him over by knitting him a pair of boxers made out of fur balls.

"No, it's not for Bundles for Britain. Guess again."

"It was cute when the cat just played with a ball of wool, but this is getting out of hand!"

Knitting

"So, did the doctor give you something for your runny nose?"

Home is where the Harp is.

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

"Thanks for your help, but I really don't need it!"

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

"Sorry - was you watching that?"

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'Actually, a ball of yarn is better as a symbol of our playfulness than as an actual toy.'

I'm looking for a man who has his own teeth. Dentures are OK. He just has to own them. They can't be on lay away at a dentist's office.

'Well, Martha, there goes the end of our virgin wool.'

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Business School. Our case study is an umbrella company bankrupted by fabric costs. They were killed by high overhead expenses!

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

String Theory for Beginners.