Knee Surgery Gifts

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"Knee replacement? Can I have it replaced with chocolate?"

"It's the orthopedist's parts department. Your knees are in."

Stairway to Knee Surgery

You need a knee replacement -- We'll put in an actual spring in your step!

"I recommend that you have a knees op Mother Brown."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Gary turns 40.

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"This will be a tricky operation."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

En garde!

"Gross."