Knee Concerns Gifts

Gary turns 40.

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

"It's the orthopedist's parts department. Your knees are in."

"I have bad knees."

It's much easier on my knees.

'Maslow's Hierarchy of Knees'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

Stairway to Knee Surgery

You need a knee replacement -- We'll put in an actual spring in your step!

"I recommend that you have a knees op Mother Brown."

'You think you've got a bad knee? Let me tell you about a bad knee, my brother.'

"This really is your last chance Mr Perkins."

"You might want to sit down, Mrs. Dumpty."

'That's my trick knee.'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

Man selling kneepads to desert crawlers.

"Your weight is one of the reasons your knees need replacing, so replacing them with pizza wouldn't be wise."

"That's the fifth customer this morning - video calling the doctor's surgery because of Covid restrictions."

"Knee replacement? Can I have it replaced with chocolate?"

The frustration of a nagging injury.

Worm complaints desk

'After a weekend of water sports, I'm convinced kneeboarding is also torture.'

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away." "How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings?" "Excellent question." "It reminds me of the time in 1863 when Grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field in Gettysburg." "One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General Lee, and the rest is

The US banning TikTok

'So what'll it be; novocain or profanity?'

Clancy: Advice for an Injury

'You got a good offer to endorse a new painkiller.'