Knee Replacement Gifts

"Your weight is one of the reasons your knees need replacing, so replacing them with pizza wouldn't be wise."

Gary turns 40.

Fishing Boat Derby

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'You're going to need a hip-hoperation.'

They Removed my Brain.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

'If this works, don't forget to thank her for the kidney.'

Psycho-plankton.

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

Eskimo to one with huge whale: 'You're sure it's all good cholesterol?'

"It's the orthopedist's parts department. Your knees are in."

"We were lucky to find an island with a water feature."

'Maslow's Hierarchy of Knees'

"I have bad knees."

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

In search of the elusive balloon whale.

Stairway to Knee Surgery

"My prostate is the size of a beach ball which, I understand, is normal."

'Say it. Don't spray it.'

"I recommend that you have a knees op Mother Brown."

'You think you've got a bad knee? Let me tell you about a bad knee, my brother.'

"I'm your hip replacement."