Knee Saver Gifts

It's much easier on my knees.

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

Noise Pollution

"Is this about your raise?"

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'Faster Mr. Barlow, the lights keep going dim!'

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

Tarzan's trees being chopped down.

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

'What do you mean you though I paid the electricity bill!'

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

"I think our solar panels are drawing in too much energy. I just plugged in my hair dryer, and I swear the sun dimmed."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'Maslow's Hierarchy of Knees'

Pathology.

'Me…me…catch me!'

Double life.

'Must you get new clothes every season? I'm still wearing stuff I got years ago.'

Thank You...For Everything You Do.

Surfer.

Doctor monitoring his own heart attack.

Ruth the vet had become very attached to one of her patients!

'This is a teeny. Do you have it in a weeny?'

'It would never work out, Richard. I save whales and you save stamps.'

'No oil, no whales, no help.'

Paramedic

"I'll be there for you, Estella. I'll wait...as long as it takes. You can depend on me."