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Caution Fragile

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"On. More. Try."

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

The Coordination Committee meets. . .

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

'Why can't I make my pastry light?'

Relaxation Technique

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."