Kitty Whisperer Gifts

I'm goin' on a spay-cation!

"It's not about the cat door, is it? It's a 'who is the pet and who is the owner' thing..."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"You ask why I'm on your counter but I might as easily ask why you're on my floor."

"I'll be home soon, Sweetcake!"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Police Feline Unit

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Foster failure"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Quick, start the car!"

I quilt therefore I am

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Dog Dreams

Biofelineism

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'You know too much!'

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Hush puppy.

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'