Kitchen Utensil Humor Gifts

"I'm a dish, not a bowl. This was never going to work."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Wok. Don't Wok.

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'I was in the catering corps.'

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Deliboys

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"My guess it's guacamole."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

Amy Sedaris

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

"Carpe pizza"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Avocado Timeline

Sisyphus Sawyer

'Needs more kale.'