Kitchenware Humorist Gifts

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Wok. Don't Wok.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'I was in the catering corps.'

Cook and her Maids

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Amy Sedaris

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Avocado Timeline

The secret lives of household things.

'He's all eyes!'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

Decaying corpse

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"...My daughter, the model..."

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."