Kitchen Humorist Gifts

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

New! Flat-panel Appliances.

Health and safety at work.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Avocado Timeline

'I was in the catering corps.'

"Peep.....Peeep...bloody peep!"

"The killer had to be a man. Not only is the knife still bloody—it wasn't even put in the sink."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"That's my little brother... the pot head!"

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"Everything is grate."

'I doubt you will have what I'm looking for, young man - an eye-level grill?'

"It's time to meet your maker."

'I can't believe it's not butter!'

"I recently escaped from an arranged marriage."

A lady interviewing a new cook.

'Oh for heaven's sake, woman, can't you use a knife like everyone else?'

'Does this taste like it might have accidentally gotten some rat poison in it?'

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

Surprised cook.

'He's all eyes!'

'Show Off'. Hat size jealousy among chefs.

Chef chases after a runaway egg.

'My apologies for the delay - I'm afraid the microwave had broken so chef has to use the oven.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"Please stop calling this 'the break room' and no, there's not space for a water cooler."

"Good news, we don't have to pretend to be veggie this week, the butcher had a special offer on."

"Quick, get it while its molecules are still vibrating."

The secret lives of household things.

Great moments in food history. I call it the "hot dog"! It looks like a moment people will relish!

When Cereal Boxes Attack

The Grim Reaper and Expired Milk