Kitchen Supplier Pillows

'I feel it only fair to warn you that the job does come with some strain attached.'

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Too much cilantro

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Salt and Pepper

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

The Perfect Foil

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

Entertainment systems

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."