Kitchen Stander Gifts

"And I got this bachelorhood award for most meals eaten standing in the kitchen hanging over the sink."

Jack of all trades

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Cake Friday!

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

Witch's Brew.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'Cooking'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

The Perfect Foil

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Onion Tears

"I'm unable to process this image."

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Cookery Lesson.

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

Boy baking a cake.

Funky Chef 2

Roasted Peppers

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'