Kitchen Stander Gifts

"And I got this bachelorhood award for most meals eaten standing in the kitchen hanging over the sink."

Jack of all trades

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Cake Friday!

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'Cooking'

Witch's Brew.

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

The Perfect Foil

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Onion Tears

"I'm unable to process this image."

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Cookery Lesson.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

Boy baking a cake.

Beauty and the Baste

Funky Chef 2

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"Tastes great, less killing!"