Kitchen Revamp Dreamer T-Shirts

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

'Don't panic,I'm just waiting for the wood.'

Pampered and poodled.

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

Swiss Army Stove.

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

You missed a spot!

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"I think Tia Carmen has found her dream pot."

Come to think of it...I could do with a showcase kitchen as it goes...

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

'He is decorating,even he can't mess that up.'

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

'Nothing yet - that multi-storey is putting people off.'

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

"We are not buying a refrigerator with a learning curve."

'Hmm, back to the drawing board.'

'Whoa! When did we get that big Tupperware bowl?'