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Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"On. More. Try."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

It's all gravy.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

"Does it come with magnets?"

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'