Kitchen Item Fans T-Shirts

'I could see a saucer of even a cup, but who runs away with a spoon?'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"Fridge-to-table"

It's all gravy.

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

"I like coming to Grandma's House Daddy. . . It always smells like chocolate chip cookies!"

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"Does it come with magnets?"

Origin of the 'spork'

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

Wall Cluck.

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

'Excuse me sir, how do you feel about artificial intelligence?'

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

Woodpecker Carving Chair out of Tree.

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

'George's poltergeists are terribly clever, they assembled the coffee table for us.'

Rep-Tiles.

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

Fur'niture

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

'When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the paneling department at Home Depot.'