Culinary Klutz Fan T-Shirts

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"On. More. Try."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

"Waiter!"

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

'Why can't I make my pastry light?'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

Cafe offers corn several ways.

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"