Kitchen Inferno Enthusiasts Pillows

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

'Is it still edible?'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'I don't know why you use the lid to this thing. It's so much more fun without it!'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

"We take the appearance of responsive customer service very seriously."

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"Iron Chef, my ass!"