Kitchen Gladiator Gifts

Onion Guillotine

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Prize vegetables.

Bad for you but to die for

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Everything's gone up."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Busy day at the office.

Biker Lawn Mower

Boy defends his last fry.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

"I've called the meeting to discuss the problem of stress int he workplace."

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

Human males marking territory.

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'