Kitchen Gladiator Pillows

Onion Guillotine

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Prize vegetables.

Bad for you but to die for

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Everything's gone up."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Busy day at the office.

Biker Lawn Mower

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

"I've called the meeting to discuss the problem of stress int he workplace."

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

Human males marking territory.

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

The rat race

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.