Kitchen Garden Champions T-Shirts

None of my plants do well...but I forgot I had an onion in my refrigerator, and it's sprouting leaves and growing well.

Allotment

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"Naw, mom says there ain't no candy corn seeds!"

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

Food Cooked. Nerves raw.

'All our food is locally sourced.'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Omelette aux grosses herbes

Keeping fit by weight training with 'le creuset' saucepans

"Oh, Kevin. You are truly the Tomato Whisperer."

Planting Dreams.

Gardening for Beginners

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

"One man's apocalypse is another man's mandate."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"My biggest problem is squatters."

'The potatoes are over there, the brussel sprouts are next to that and right here is my husband Jack.'

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

'My garden won't feed the family, but it'll feed a pretty nice rabbit stew.'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"And that's just the tip of the iceberg."

'Gee - More Zucchini?'

'Yes, but the carrots are still hard.'

Statue of a housewife.

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

'...and it's loaded with additives banned by the F.D.A.'