Kitchen Garden Conqueror T-Shirts

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Am Awful Crammer.

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

A woman's work is never done!

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

A day in the life of a dish sink

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

The Colonel at home.

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

Tuppermalware

After conquering Baked Alaska, Mount Bakewell was a piece of cake.

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

'There's a pork roast in the oven and a casserole in the microwave....two minutes on high.'

Health Regime Change: No Fry Zone

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'