Condiment Conqueror T-Shirts

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

Am Awful Crammer.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

Mayo-A-Mayo

Crop duster wanted.

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

A woman's work is never done!

A day in the life of a dish sink

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

Access Denied!

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

The Colonel at home.

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"