Condiment Conqueror Gifts

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

Am Awful Crammer.

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Crop duster wanted.

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

A woman's work is never done!

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

A day in the life of a dish sink

Access Denied!

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

The Colonel at home.

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

After conquering Baked Alaska, Mount Bakewell was a piece of cake.

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"