Kitchen Cut-up Gifts

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Too much cilantro

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Salt and Pepper

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Chef copy robot

The Perfect Foil

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Cookery Lesson.

Chef De Party.

Cooking

'Do you want toast with that?'

Entertainment systems

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"You have arrived at your destination."

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

Tupperware Wolf

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

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