Kitchen Chaotic Gifts

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Vegetable Cook

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Chef De Party.

Disaster in the kitchen.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Cooking

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"I mean, he does have a point."

Cook au vin

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.