Kitchen Chaotic Gifts

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

Vegetable Cook

Ten out of ten for effort...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Chef De Party.

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Cooking

Disaster in the kitchen.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

Cook au vin

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"I mean, he does have a point."

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"