Kitchen Crisis Magician T-Shirts

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

You're the sizzle in my roast!

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Hot pot

The legend of Chef Arthur.

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"More?"

"Fridge-to-table"

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

Come dine with me!

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

Oh you smoothie

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

For my next trick, I will cut this freshly baked baguette in half using a non serrated blade.

Bake-a-thon.

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

Bangers and Mash