Kitchen Creativity Gifts

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

Husband to wife as she pours red pepper into pot, 'I'm sick and tired of bland stew, Edna.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

Lockdown casserole

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Baloneystini

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

All-Candy Seder.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

Avocado Timeline

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

Picasso

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"