Kitchen Creativity Gifts

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

Husband to wife as she pours red pepper into pot, 'I'm sick and tired of bland stew, Edna.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Lockdown casserole

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Man's cooking explodes.

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Baloneystini

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

All-Candy Seder.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Avocado Timeline

Picasso

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'