Kitchen Experimentation Gifts

Man's cooking explodes.

All sizzle and no roast

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Before/After

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Lockdown casserole

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Ten out of ten for effort...

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

The Inexperienced Cook

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.