Kitchen Quirkiness Gifts

'Don't put knife in your mouth.' 'My forks leaks.'

'How is the water prepared?'

Chef copy robot

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

Intolerant Chef

Chef using an electric train to roll pastry.

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

Cuckoo blender

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

'Get off me you Crepe.'

"Gourmet burgers on rustic platters - coming right up!"

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

Ants take cheese and grater

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

"Egg Beater"

"They ran out of carrots."

Tea and Coffee

Husband to wife as she pours red pepper into pot, 'I'm sick and tired of bland stew, Edna.'

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

'Do you find the roast to have a faint 'woody' taste?' 'Could be, I couldn't find the carving knife so I used my band saw... cuts like butter.'

"One B.L.T., one cherry pie, and one bowl of chili with crackers on the side!"

'You excelled again tonight, mother!'

Bear: 'I can't sleep, so I'm going to rustle up mid-February snack.'

Cooking shows for dogs

Utensils Car Wash