Kitchen Capers Gifts

'You know I must have been mistaken, it tastes fine after all.'

A potato is walking down the street; a potato masher is hiding around a corner waiting to jump him.

'You'd better be insured, buddy! -- I just burned my thumb in your stupid French onion soup!'

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

Wedding Chefs

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"Are you as excited as I am?"

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'You made me jump,'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

Cookie Thief

Houdini's Dog.

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

Ice Cream Lover

Bad Dog!

"Rufus, stop being naughty with Mrs. Curtis!"

'It didn't start out this way.'

'Anyone want to get together for a still life?'

"You want twenty bones delivered? Are you sure Mr Jones? You usually order two bones a week."

'I'm in a barking cessation training program. This is how I express my hostility.'