Culinary Caper Gifts

Servant boy caught with his mouth full of food

Fridge Pirate

'You made me jump,'

Another Bloody Cookery Show

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

A Cat is Kicked Out of A Yarn Shop.

'Table 17 wants his salmon seasoned only with sea salt - from the Pacific; between 25 and 30 degrees south latitude.'

'You know I must have been mistaken, it tastes fine after all.'

"My dog didn't eat my homework. My husband did."

'There you are dear - I was just telling Mr. and Mrs. Mumby about our little game of trying to have a bath during the commercials.'

"Whoa! A little more than I anticipated. . . Can you give me a moment while I pop out to the bank?"

NutcrackersSafecrackers.

'Fooling-around-with-strange-chemicals-during-a-break rota.'

A potato is walking down the street; a potato masher is hiding around a corner waiting to jump him.

'My compliments to the chef.'

'We're getting rid of that welcome mat starting today!'

Egg beater.

"Ah, Indian pudding-- the coup de grâce"

'Ralph doesn't believe in catch and release'

'Yes, it's cream beef on toast. The school district has taken over the catering trucks.'

Man at the deli counter (reflected backwards in window) asks 'Got any Salami?' written backwards.

'You'd better be insured, buddy! -- I just burned my thumb in your stupid French onion soup!'