Kitchen Caper Gifts

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'Yes, it's cream beef on toast. The school district has taken over the catering trucks.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'You made me jump,'

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

Cookie Thief

Houdini's Dog.

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

"Rufus, stop being naughty with Mrs. Curtis!"

Bad Dog!

Ice Cream Lover

'Won't Mommie be surprised when she sees we've installed a garbage disposal.'

"You want twenty bones delivered? Are you sure Mr Jones? You usually order two bones a week."

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"

A Cat is Kicked Out of A Yarn Shop.

'It looks like the Great Asparagus Cutter has got your number.'

'I'm in a barking cessation training program. This is how I express my hostility.'

'You know I must have been mistaken, it tastes fine after all.'

NutcrackersSafecrackers.

"Sure I did it out of spite, but I want to make it look like an accident."

"My dog didn't eat my homework. My husband did."

"I think the Chihuahua's been up on the counter again. There are several paw prints in the butter tub."